7.4.08

#21

i definitely feel most comfortable as an observer at this point when it comes to myspace. it's very weird; i feel so naked, totally exposed or about to be. anyway, i'll work on that. i have your former wrist pinned to my wrist [left wrist] right now.

feelings of exposure:
somehow it feels less exposing having you as an intermediary. i have a really hard time letting go of my side of this. i don't use my name for the myspace account. i'm number 21. so what's the problem? like why can't i take on some alter ego fully own up to my part of the bargain. maybe that's why i have 48 days with your wrist. i'm trying to compare this to owning a star in space. but it's not quite the same. for one thing i don't think i'd much care about owning a star. this is much more personal and the distance between myself and this number 21 area i temporarily have ownership of is within reach. i don't know, maybe it would be some six hours in a car...

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